Good Morning Friends,
If you have been following these blog updates, you know we have been using a flight analogy in this waiting phase. Wednesday night we heard a boarding call. The flight will leave at 1:30 this afternoon with the first chemo treatment. It will be the first of 8, one every other week for 16 weeks. I didn’t want to do this, but here we go.
Our household is working through a range of emotions and questions. And yes, I have been debriefing with God. We still have things to work through, but mostly I am living in one-word answers to the questions I asked myself at the beginning of this new day…
Do I believe God heals? -Yes!
Do I believe He is who He says He is?-Yes!
Will He ever leave my side- No!
Do I still believe that all of the healing that has taken place this last month is real, living, and true- Absolutely!
Do I still think God has more to say about this situation and the roots of it? Yes!
Am I going to continue to pray for healing? -Yes!
Is He still Good?- Oh yes!
Is He working the very best for me in all of this? Yes!
Have I ever known Him to leave, forsake, fail or be unfaithful? No, no, no, never!
The reality of the past twenty-four hours is that we have cried(alot) we have prayed, and we’re scared. I don’t know what to expect and it makes me so angry to be given a treatment that will make me ill, when I feel so well. Yesterday I walked on the treadmill and tried to make sense of being so sick, but having no symptoms. The thing that makes me tear up the easiest?… knowing how difficult this could be for the best husband and the fab four. Will you pray with me that they are covered and held, and that my heart will be able to leave the responsibility of their hearts, emotions etc. in the hands of our good God?
There are so many things I don’t understand, but I know this: In this last month, God has shown up like never before. I am forever changed by His amazing work of grace, forgiveness, deliverance and healing. I did think, that because I have experienced physical healing before that maybe it would be the same again, but I am not in charge of my healing, and I. do. trust. Him. I know beyond everything and maybe because of it…. He loves us. And so, we sleep, we rise,we bless the Lord and we go for treatment. Thank you for sitting in the aisle across from me. For gathering bags and boarding with me. The God of angel armies is before and behind us and we bless His name! Thank you for continued prayer for all of us! ♥
(My apologies for the formatting today, WordPress is acting up!)
This chapter of the story started here if you would like to read it…